Everything you say to children counts!
The following is a suggested list of communication guidelines or principles that have been discussed and developed by the nursery staff. They are not listed in any order of importance, but rather all are important.
Physical aspects of communication
1. Use a calm and normal voice in general when speaking with children--this helps create a calm environment for children. Loud, excited, angry, tiny, etc. voice qualities all have a place in appropriate situations. (Ex: Storytelling or times of danger.)
2. Try to always get down to children’s level, and to be close enough that a normal tone and level can be used. Give children opportunity to express themselves. (Ex: If you see a child doing something inappropriate across the room, get up and go to the child if you are going remind him/her about the routines instead of shouting across the room.)
3.
Communication also involves non-verbal communication, body language, sighs, facial expressions, etc. Be aware of how these are used, both positively and negatively. Children need physical contact in varying degrees. Teachers should be open and sensitive to this and use discretion to determine appropriate reactions to individual children. Always respect children’s”no” to physical contact. (Ex: If you go to give a child a hug and s/he withdraws, then don’t force or try to convince the child to do it anyway.)
Word choices
4. Use correct language with specific terms children can understand and with proper grammar. Remember even very young children are constantly taking in new language skills and children will repeat whatever they hear. (Ex: Use “hands” not “handies.” Discretion is, of course, used for personal items or nicknames.)
5. Be clear and specific in communication. (Ex: Don’t use child’s name alone as means for correction--this is unfair to child’s self esteem. After saying child’s name, be specific if correction is necessary and follow through with an explanation of why you are correcting.)
6. Sarcasm and slang words are inappropriate in communication with young children. Children are quite literal. (Ex: Saying, “Oh, that was nice, wasn’t it?” when you really mean that it was not nice at all.)
7. Praise in concrete and specific terms! (Ex: “What a great job you did tidying up the playhouse!” instead of “What a good girl you are!”)
8. Try to word instructions or corrections in positive language; instead of “don’t,” tell children what they can do. Ask children themselves what is suitable. Involve children in finding the appropriate solution or behaviour. (Ex: “The slide is for going down and there are children waiting to go down” instead of “Don’t climb up the slide!”)
9. Converse with children, not just to them! Let children know that you enjoy their conversation, that you are listening, and that what they say is important and worth listening to. (Ex: Taking dictations about children’s drawings--”Would you like to tell me something about your picture? I could write it down so others could read it, too.”)
10. Things which are repetitious and boring to adults are not to children, who may want further explanation or details or confirmation of what is already known. Children enjoy conversation, encourage them by being willing to follow their lead! (Ex: Tell them the same story again if they ask for it!)
11. Talking over children’s heads about the children themselves, about subjects which children do not understand, and about subjects which children are not meant to hear are all inappropriate. If children are present, recognise the fact and bring the children into the conversation. Let the children answer for themselves, (Ex: If another adult asks the child about what s/he has done, let the child answer. Answering for the child keeps him/her out of the conversation.)
12. Respect children’s feelings, although this does not mean that you must endorse these feelings. (Ex: If you see a child is angry with another child, you can help the child to identify this feeling and deal with it, without saying, “You shouldn’t be angry.”)
13. Respect children’s no when an option is given. If you don’t mean to give an option, then don’t ask a question. (Ex: If you ask a child if someone can borrow a personal item and the child says no, then you must respect that answer.)
14. Shaming and/or ridiculing children are inappropriate and negative means of communication with children. (Ex: When responding to a toileting accident, word yourself carefully. Saying to a child “I can’t believe you did that! You are too big to do that!” could be devastating for him/her.)
15. Using threats or bribes is a very negative means to get children to do something. As always, routines should be strong enough to back up behaviour expectations.
16. Don’t coerce children into doing something. Don’t say “Just do this for me” or “Just because I say,” if what you mean is that this is something that must be done or is a routine which must be followed--remember to be specific and honest.
17. Be consistent and follow through with what you say. Explain clearly if there are going to be any changes. Remember that security is always being developed--why should children trust you again if you don’t follow through this time? Also, do yourself what you expect children to do. (Ex: Wash your hands before lunch if you expect children to do this. Collect children at the time you say you will--or call early enough to explain changes if you will be earlier or later.)
18. When reprimanding children, careful consideration must be given to keeping attention on the present situation. Past events should only be used when appropriate and only with careful consideration and discretion. (Ex: If reminding a child to not run inside, do not bring up that s/he also couldn’t remember to hold hands outside.)
19. Help children to find answers/resolve conflicts themselves. Help children to find, identify, and use the means to do this. (Ex: Asking a child “What do we usually do now and why?” rather than just telling.)
Remember that children are people, too, and should be treated with respect and dignity. Don't treat a child in a way you wouldn't treat an adult.
Revised and approved by staff and board in February 2008